Unexpected Blessings In A (My) Retirement Community

Unexpected Blessings In A (My) Retirement Community

It took almost a year for my thoughts about a retirement living community (RL) to change. I never thought at the time when we put a deposit on entry, and then even five years later, after being told that RL had a place, I still was not convinced that this was what I really wanted to do.  But between paying our entrance fee for a residence and being told that it was ready, I had a heart attack.  Yet, even after a near-death experience and my strong recovery, I never thought I really needed a retirement community.  I was alive and getting well.  But when opportunity came for us to move in, I did reluctantly because I thought I was not old enough, only 75, Graduate and back to good health. But in October of 75, I went to our doctor, who sent me quickly to a spine surgeon, who told me I would not walk much longer if I did not have the surgery. And so I had radical back surgery.  The hospital discharged me the day after with one PT visit.  But because I was now a part of an independent living community, there was, in our building, a rehabilitation center that I could be admitted to, and I gladly went. And today, four months after the surgery, I have “graduated” from PT. Now, I will engage in a wellness circuit with a trained circuit trainer, all in the same building. I have not had to leave our campus for PT, OT, or circuit training to regain my health and strengthen my body. 

I think that there is a time when we have to decide to prepare ourselves for getting to the point that we can not do what we did 10, 20, or 30 years ago. We must think of our family, if we have one, and who will help us as our health decreases.  We decided that we would invest a portion of our retirement funds to live in this continuous care community.  Others stay with family or others, but the benefit for us is to live to the fullest for the remainder of our lives, and it has been a great decision. It was a decision that our children agreed with and encouraged us to do.  

To be transparent, I do miss our farm, I miss our hometown of Danville, and the friends and family that we still have there.  I miss being a pastor, and there are moments when my disposition has much to be desired because I miss it all.  But I am finding new friends, not to take the place of those who live away, but simply to have the companionship that comes with living in a community like this. We are more alike in that we are crossing the Rubicon, and we are crossing it together.  So, with each new ache and pain that attacks our bodies, we consult, commiserate together, and encourage one another.  But we also celebrate, and we really celebrate.  I  am writing this as we prepare for Valentine's Day with multiple venues to celebrate.  Then there will be the Derby, and they have a huge Derby party planned, but Duke and UNC  throw parties here as well. 

As our culture is trying to discard those older than lets say, 65, we are in a place that honors age.  

• Today, we had a concert with two of our residents, both older than us. One who was, years ago, a concert pianist, who still performs. Today we heard two pieces from Chopin, and one by Liszt, and he was so good.  Then we had another who plays only “by ear”. This resident hears a tune once, she could play it, and today, she played like few pianists I have heard in my lifetime.
• In the Fall and Spring, we have FURL (Free University of River Landing) Classes.  Most classes are taught by fellow residents.  This spring, we have three men teaching about our country’s 250th Anniversary. We have three retired FBI special agents, and one of them will teach about “Organized Crime, Then and Now.” The great thing about being here is that age is respected, and we learn from others’ experience and expertise.  For example, a class is being taught on “250 Years of American Music” by a resident who is Professor Emeritus of Music from the Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music; another class is “Memories of Cuba-My Country” taught by a resident who has been an executive chef. Her expertise has taken her around the world for most of her life. There are a large number of folks who have military backgrounds, and a course, “Behind the Scenes Tour of the Carolina Field of Honor”, is taught by a resident who lived in Greensboro and is now a retired Navy Intelligence Officer.  And let me list one more.  A Board-certified pediatrician and a retired associate professor of pediatrics  at UNC School of Medicine is introducing us to “Innovation and Entrepreneurship of a Physician.” The wisdom and knowledge of these folks exceeded my expectations.  And there are so many more. (Becky and I might do something one day about farming. Since I am the only one who wears bib-overalls, we’d be a natural.) These courses of one day to multiple days,  have broadened our knowledge and understanding.
• We have five venues to choose from for dining.  There is one that specializes in regional and international cuisine. We are served by students, most of whom are working to extend their education.  They are so gracious, and their presence makes us think we are a bit younger than we are. The food is very good compared to most institutional food.  But yesterday we had a chili and corn bread competition, and though  Becky’s homemade chili was not entered, she would have won hands down. When we desire a hot drink, cookie, or a piece of coffee cake or pastry, we can go down to our River Landing Creamery and sit and ‘chew the fat’ or hold an impromptu meeting.
• The golf course is wonderful for golfers, but it offers the rest of us a beautiful green space to walk around. Since I am not a golfer, I can’t write about our golf course except to say that our 9-hole golf course is very busy, and there is a demand by high school teams and individuals outside of RL to use it.  And they do, but our residents get priority. 

So, to be clear, being here has been a part of my life, now, for almost a year, and it is one of the best decisions we have made. Even when I was in the RL rehab, Bec could go back to our home to sleep but be close enough to come back to me without getting into a car or going outside. And, though I am speaking for myself, she feels the same way as I do about our decision. Oh, by the way, when I reminisce and long for the farm, family, and friends back in Danville, Kentucky,  Bec takes me back just a few years ago and reminds me of our challenges of raising cattle, sheep, drought, and even getting people hired to do what needed to be done, which we could not do by ourselves.  So, just a few days ago,  I looked out of our window at the men who were clearing our parking lot and parking spaces, with over a foot of snow plus ice, in the bitter cold. If we were on the farm, we would be doing this ourselves on our quarter-mile farmhouse drive.  I knew, as clear as day, what she was talking about. 

And today, the best blessing is that we are only a mile away from our son and his family and 30 minutes away from our daughter and her family.   This is the closest we have been together since they graduated from high school. And they join us almost weekly to eat with us, drop by to visit, and often include us in their own activities.

Yes, we are fortunate.  We scrimped, saved, got what we needed but not always what we wanted in years past, and because of that, we were able to come to RL. Yes, we are blessed by the lessons we have learned, such as: with age comes wisdom that is often neglected by our culture; that the decisions we make affect our children and grandchildren; and that our faith sustains us even as our health declines.  I have also learned that there are some here who have no visitors and who need encouragement. This is a place that I can continue to fulfill God’s call on my life to serve Him by serving others. 

All these were blessings, and there are so many more yet to be realized.

Grace and Peace,

Quentin

Sharecropper’s  Inheritance, 

Epiphany, 2026