There is One Thing That Gives Perspective

There Is One Thing That Gives Perspective

Opportunity for Death

Back in September of 2024, unbeknownst to me, I had a near heart attack but just passed it off as indigestion, indigestion that a few Tums would take care of.  Then three weeks later, as we were headed for the car, after walking Bess, our wonderful dog and farmhand, I felt the same thing, but this time I was close to being unable to walk.  I told Bec and she had to drive me home.  I was insistent, though I think she wanted to take me to the hospital.  We got home, and while I was still trying to convince myself it was indigestion, she got on the computer, listed my symptoms, called Adam and said, “Come to our home, your Dad is having a heart attack and I can’t do anything with him.”  She also knew that Adam has me tied around his finger, and whatever he says, I’d try to accommodate. Sure enough, it was a heart attack, and emergency bypass surgery that has kept me alive.  

After that, most everything changed including diet, exercise, and a deep appreciation for life.  But most of all, it was an even deeper appreciation to the Lord, for allowing me to live at least a little longer, to be with the family that I love so much and to even grow deeper in my relationship with the love of my life, Becky.  Sometimes I think I have inadvertently taken her for granted. I think that comes with a certain sense of familiarity over the years (we first met in the 5th grade, and started dating in the 7th grade, and have been an “item” ever since.) The marriage is like most, not perfect, but through God, friends, family and an even deepening faith, we have loved each other for over 54 years.  That hallmark would not have even been reached if I had died due to my heart attack. And to think that my father died tragically at age 35 and my mother at age 66 while I am the age of 77.

BUT, living longer comes with many more challenges.  The first challenge has been and still is adjusting to retirement community living. It is a wonderful place, but coming from a farm in the heart of the Bluegrass, leaving extended family and friends, and eventually moving into a 1200 sq. ft. apartment, from an almost 4,000 sq. ft. beautiful farmhouse, has been a major adjustment. But I am convinced I am at the place we both need to be and do not regret the move, especially since we have our two children and their families nearby.   

But the most difficult thing about getting older, that is….. living longer, is that health issues begin to complicate life.  So, back in late September of this past year (2025), I had a pain growing in my left leg.  To make a long story short, both my primary doctor and my spine surgeon asked me when I broke my back.  I did not know, truly, I did not. But I had been playing football since the 5th grade, then a little rugby in the UK.  While at The Divinity School, I even played on our small congregation’s flag football team against the likes of the inmates at the county prison.  Believe me, that was a rather different form of flag football (and should I say, evangelism?), and we didn’t come out unscathed.  Be that as it may, both physicians said, independent of the other, that my “back was in a mess.” I asked the surgeon if I really needed surgery, and he said yes.  Then he made me aware, which I confirmed after surgery as well, that if I don’t have surgery, I would sooner or later not be able to walk. The surgery lasted almost 6 hours; 5 vertebrae had to be pried apart, special screws….stronger than titanium, had to be used. The broken bone had to be found because it had moved inward into the spinal cord since the MRI was taken.  The surgeon’s office called and asked if he could reschedule it from October, to a month earlier. I think he simply knew it needed to be done sooner rather than later.  

I had asked his physician assistant about two weeks before surgery if he was a Christian, and she said he was and then said, I am, too.  So, when I saw him just moments before being sleep-induced, I asked him if he would mind if I could pray with and for him.  He was delighted to be asked and took my hand. I prayed, said “Amen”, and fell fast asleep.  I awoke 6 hours later. The presence of God was with him and his surgical team, and because of that, I am a walking miracle.  

This was not a near-death experience like the heart attack, but there have been moments in the last almost 4 months that I thought death might be a preference.  Why not?  Jesus saved me, and I am promised a place in God’s eternal Kingdom.  I recognize that I have been one of the most blessed people to walk this earth, have had all that I needed and much that I have ever wanted.  My family is a delight, so I could leave this earthly body and have my new body in Heaven with peace. But then it dawned upon me one sleepless, pain-filled night among many, that God would not have lengthened my life to just have repair surgery on my messed-up back. There was and is value in suffering.  Out of this time of pain and suffering, I am going to address the subject of suffering in a classroom setting this spring. There is  great value in suffering.

So here I am healing, in a year-long process that began back in late September, searching for God’s direction for my future, however long or short it may be. It has started to dawn upon me that He has already begun.

• The move here was part of His plan. I had to choose it, and fortunately, I did. There are many reasons that I can explain later.
• I was selected last year to be on the scholarship committee of eight to award 40 students that work at River Landing (RL) to further their education. To sit through these interviews, with these young women and men of different faiths or no faith at all, was a wonderful challenge to me, and it became a time that my faith gave me great perspective.
• And on Thursday of this year, the 8th of January, I was one of four new members voted on by the residents to sit on the Resident  Council that has 10 residents to represent them to the CEO, COO, and staff for the next two years. I think I am the youngest one ever, but folks, I am definitely not young.
• My involvement in a ministry that God called me to, entitled: Servants’ Servant Ministry, has morphed into the Matthew 25:35 Foundation of which I am president. It has been used by God in tremendous ways.  We have a great board of 3+1 persons.  We have worked in India, and now we are in ministry and mission in Tanzania. The list of what God has done through us and the donors that support us is almost beyond belief.
• As with most people, they have to face issues at home and away with family and close friends, and because God lengthened my life and helped me to remain mobile on both legs, I am able to use whatever skills I have in pastoral caring, all developed through the 50 years of being pastor of wonderful local congregations.
• And, we have found a church where Becky and I love to worship.  Wesley Memorial is a hybrid of Wesleyan, Methodist, Anglican with “high church” mixed in. What does this have to do with my purpose while getting older?  Good question.   It is a place that I can be next to Becky, instead of looking at her from behind a pulpit (though I loved preaching and pastoring for 50 years). We study together to deepen our faith, grow, mature, and respond in gratitude by serving others. No, this is not Heaven, but it is a glimpse of what it may be like for us when we arrive there. As a respected  pastor often states: our ‘worship and God’s eternal Kingdom are separated by a very thin space’, and from our worship, we get a glimpse of Heaven now.

What can I say, but “thank You, God, for blessing me even through suffering.  Thank You for not letting me go when I was so lost at finding purpose and meaning to my life. It is nice to be in a retirement community that meets most of our needs, but in doing so, I lost my way of purpose and meaning. But You did not let me go and got me back on track.  Its great to be alive and present now, but to be perfectly honest, I do look forward to when in Your time, I will be with You (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) for eternity and with fellow believers, like Becky. 

Quentin

Sharecropper’s Inheritance

Epiphany, 2026