MawMaw

Maw Maw

When I was a kid, my favorite grandmother was MawMaw. She was so loving and kind and a saint.  She was a person of impeccable character, deep and abiding faith, and commitment to her family, which included the grandkids.  She was raised deep in the mountains of eastern Kentucky, yet her quiet demeanor and simple class made her a favorite of all people wherever she and PawPaw lived.  They moved several times because he was an outstanding pastor and very much in demand. We loved her so. That is the reason that at the age of 9, it was a shock to hear that she was dying. I really did not understand fully the word cancer nor could I perceive the horrific mutilation it caused to her body until I got older. 

Though I can’t be sure of all the details, I did tell my parents that I wanted to see her.  They told me that they did not allow children in the hospital. I begged, but I thought to no avail.  But then I was told that we were going to see her. And we did.  I had not been in a hospital before, so I was unsure of what to expect.  But here she was, lying in bed, sheets and blanket all around her, and my Mom, standing there beside her. If I remember correctly,  we avoided reality conversations with pleasantries. But then, a few moments later, I found myself with no other person in the room. It was just me and MawMaw.  Oh, how I wish there was a long conversation between us, but she was extremely weak, so it was minimal at best.  All she wanted to do was to hug me as best as she could.  At the time, I did not know that her cancer spread up and down her spinal column, and they could not effectively close it after the attempted surgery.  She was in deep pain but did not let me know it.  She just hugged me, and when Mom and PawPaw came and got me, they had to pull the two of us apart. There was something there, so deep, that it was indescribable to a kid, and to this day, I have never felt it again. Maybe it was a uniqueness of our relationship, but somehow I knew she was of God.  It was just a few short days that she was transferred in life to God’s Kingdom.  But as they told me then, she died and went on to Heaven.  

I am not sure when the following was said to me, maybe a few months or a year or two later, but this is what I was told. MawMaw, in her dying moments when the family was gathered around, asked God out loud: “Can I take Quentin with me to Heaven?”  I know I would have gone if God would let me go with her, but then she told those gathered around her that God said: “No, he’ll come later, but he has much to do before he comes to be with us in Heaven.”

MawMaw:

In the years that followed, that which resonated with me in such a profound way began to fade.  I got caught up in my parents’ issues, then eventually went on to the University of Kentucky, married Bec, and the list goes on.  I regret that I let this slip into the recesses of my mind but am thankful for what I do remember and retell it now.  

One might ask, well, what does that have to do with this 77-year-old man whose near-death experience and radical back surgery a year later would care about it?  Well, it has to do with God extending my life back in September of ’24.  God would not let me die and revealed to me that there is more for me to do. All of this brought me back to my “call” to ministry, and like a revelation, made me think of MawMaw and her wanting me to go and be with her in Heaven.  God had a plan for me and began to reveal that to MawMaw and to me even back then.  He knew that there was more for me to do.  And as I reflect on the 50 years in ministry, I hope I have achieved what He wanted. I cannot attest to the effectiveness of my efforts but know that each step of the way God was present and that the effectiveness of the efforts made was due to God and not me.  But I was to be His instrument, was his instrument, and it seems, will be His instrument in the future.  MawMaw knew this before anyone else. But I do look forward to being with her in Heaven when I make that transition to God’s Kingdom. It was when I was with her that I got, unbeknownst to me then, a glimpse of Heaven. I felt so deeply loved, so accepted, and I do believe it was her prayers that were a mirroring of God’s desire to heal me of polio. God heard her, loved her, and responded to her deep and abiding prayer.   

Dearest God, thank you for so many wonderful people in my life. And thank you for a grandmother that I look forward to being with in eternity with You.  That is the reason that her parents named her Grace.  They knew something about her, and it was that grace, Your grace, that permeated her life and rubbed off on me. I am so blessed, through Jesus Christ, who brought us together, kept us together, and will allow me to be with her and the saints in Heaven when I transfer my home to Your eternal Kingdom.  It is in His name that I pray, Amen.