My Brother and Me

My brother is 3 years younger than me.  Over the years, we have recounted, with humor, our encounters with one another and the brotherly depth of our relationship. But as the years have progressed, upon reflection, we have seen how his mental acuity has dissipated.  Today, he cannot tell me my name, one time labeled me as his grandfather, cannot tell me the day, time, or where he lives.  Though he is a joy to be around because he does like to talk, his conversation is always filled with jabberwocky. But we laugh anyway and at each other.  This has become for me one of the greatest losses that I have faced in recent years. Though I am not sure how my visits affect him when I am able to get back to Kentucky,  they affect me greatly because I can still hug him, he tells me he loves me, and wants to know when I will be back, though after telling him, he forgets what I have said. His wife is taking remarkable care of him, and my sister and her husband are helping out tremendously. He is loved. His closest friend takes him out to eat monthly with a group that my brother used to know.  But his friend does not see this as embarrassing but an act of love for one of God’s creations.

Well, I have been told that this is Dementia Awareness Week.  My sister sent me this, and I pass it on to you.

Someone once said if you take care of someone with dementia, you lose them more and more every day. When they get the diagnosis, when they go through different stages, when they need treatment, and when they pass away. This is called "ambiguous loss”. As the brain slowly dies, they change physically and eventually forget who their loved ones are. They could end up lying in bed, not moving, and not eating or drinking.

There will be people who will scroll past this post because dementia has not touched them. They may not know what it's like to have a loved one who has battled or is still battling dementia. To raise awareness of this cruel disease, I would like my friends to put this on their page today.”

This is a mentally crippling disease, leading to death for relationships and life.  Please pray for those with dementia but especially for those who care for and love them anyway. Thank you for taking the time to read this and to become aware of this struggle many of us face with someone we love deeply.  

Quentin

Sharecropper’s Inheritance; Pentecost, 2025