"Am I Just Taking Up Space?"

A Heart That Will Never Break

Easter Brothers

I remember, standing at my daddy's bedside

As the tears filled up the wrinkles on his face

As I held his withered hand, he softly whispered

Son I'm going to live in a better place.

And I'll have eyes that will never fill with teardrops

And I'll have legs that will never ache with pain

And I'll have hands that will never age and wither

"¨And a heart that will never break again.

I have often heard and read about that city

Where with Jesus, we shall live for ever more

There a mansion is in construction for my dwelling

And the streets of gold will run by my front door.

And All the eyes of the blind will then be open

And they'll join the victory march with the lame

And the deaf who's never heard the roar of thunder

Will rejoice to hear the Savior call his name

Bec and I were in the car, and we heard this particular country music song sung by Rhonda Vincent and her family.  The reason we remembered it was due to the fact that my body, at the time, seemed to be plunging to a new low.  Walking has been most difficult, with soreness all over, and the fact that I was without energy.  I have a doctor’s appointment when we return from Danville, but now there is some question in my mind as to whether or not we take the trip.

And then, I ran into a friend, and in the conversation about a blood test prior to his visit with the “kidney doctor,” he told me: “I’m just taking up space so I won’t take dialysis.” He is a wonderful Christian who has helped most everyone because of his engineering skills and abilities. So, when I heard that, I was taken back. But then, that is exactly what I felt this morning as Bec and I were driving, thinking, “ I’m just taking up space”.  I am feeling that I am more dependent upon Bec now than ever, that my skills are not helpful to most, and I still have not found the purpose that God has for me, now that He has lengthened my life. I have begun to feel like “I’m just taking up space”. 

This song hit me as I had begun feeling the same as my friend. I do look forward to being with the Lord in Heaven, free from the encumbrances of this life and body, but then in the mean time, am “I just taking up space”? 

But then, as I heard Pete say this to me, I teared up a bit and told him: “Don’t ever say that to me again! You are not taking up space.” My inference to him was that he was a value to God here and now and to many that know him.  Though death will come, don’t hasten it because you think you are ‘taking up space’. And as I was rather emphatic with him, I found myself saying the same thing to myself. Earlier, I intimated something similar to Bec, and she had no toleration for it, like I did not with Pete.   

 

The song reminded me again of what life will be like in Heaven: ‘I'll have eyes that will never fill with teardrops; And I'll have legs that will never ache with pain; And I'll have hands that will never age and wither; And a heart that will never break again.’ And yes, I do look forward to that day that begins my eternity with God in His Kingdom.

But as the father, in this song, was dying, he shared his heart with his son. He said in essence: ‘the fact is, I am alive and my witness is what I look forward to with God’. I began to sort through my own feelings, and awakened to the fact that life, no matter the physical or emotional state I am in, no matter how close I am to death or not it is a balance to live fully and witness others of my faith while i can but look forward to the day when the heart will never break again. 

So, this might be God’s new purpose for me, like the father in the song, to encourage and affirm life. In the way that God leads, I am to remind people of what they need to remember about the life to come with God.  The song ended:  

I have often heard and read about that city

Where with Jesus, we shall live forever more

There a mansion is in construction for my dwelling

And the streets of gold will run by my front door.

And All the eyes of the blind will then be open

And they'll join the victory march with the lame

And the deaf who's never heard the roar of thunder

Will rejoice to hear the Savior call his name

 

Yes, I look forward to that, but until that time comes, live as fully as we can, encouraging one another in times of failing health and offer the blessed hope of our future with Him.

Though I think I’m going to make it through this crisis with my body, these last words reminded me that yes, even when I think I’m coming close to the end, to the “end of my rope,” I can share while I still have life what my blessed hope is: eternity with God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Though I’m not holding God to “gold streets in front of the “mansion” He is preparing for me, I need to remind those that feel hopeless of what we will have when the time comes: The lame will walk, the blind will see, the deaf will hear, and we will be with God who has made that possible for eternity. No more need for canes, rollators, or motorized indoor transportation. This is what God has in store for all of us.  For those who receive no visitors to their home or nursing facility, there will be the community of believers that will be waiting there for them in Heaven. With these Saints, there will be no more loneliness or brokenness, and there will be no need for blessed hope, for that hope will be a reality.  We can wait, and if suffering befalls us, we have God to hang onto and a witness to share with others.   I need to remember that I am not “just taking up space”. There is purpose in my life still and it is sharing this good news to my fellow travelers.  

Quentin

Sharecropper’s Inheritance

Pentecost, 2025